“Are you alright, dude?”
Was the question mocking, or out of serious concern? I stood among the tall weeds (where a sidewalk should be) waiting, always waiting (?) to cross the road. The questioner that vexed me was the operator of one of these vehicles. I’d be a lot more alright if his car wasn’t driving along the road during the precise moment that I should have been walking across it. If I could go back in time and get a quick word in with God during his Course Of Events development meeting, I would’ve suggested never creating Mr.Dude?, or at least not filling his head with superfluous questions of inscrutable tone. Instead, I would replace the questions with ping pong balls, ricocheting around in his skull. My day would have been far peachier, way more “alright”, if this guy had driven by and asked me “Ping pong, ping pong?” instead.
Short answer, yes. I’m alright. You could say I’m doing just fine, peachy, hangin’ low, gettin’ by. I’m okay.
Put whatever spin on that or hang any connotations you feel would make this more interesting, or more like you, or someone you despise.
This is turning into a standup routine, where I tell all about the funny stuff that happened today and let the
audience look at it through my crazy colorful kaleidoscope lense. Or maybe it’s not a kaleidoscope, but a piece of septic piping rimmed in shit. Or maybe it’s a ring shape formed by my index finger and thumb, and it looks just as mundane to you as it does to me.
Regardless, here it is. It’s mandatory. I’m sorry, you don’t have a choice. Pretend you’re trapped in the side
room at the party with me, in the loser room. So, um, hehe, great party, huh? Nah, nah I was being sarcastic
actually. Do you know John? Nah, me neither.
